What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why was the child crying? because his friend just got hit by a van.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how do you call someone? use a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats 1+1? window!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What comes after 69... Mouthwash

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the bird say to the other bird? Nothing because birds can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did man who had diarrhea say to the other man? "I have to go to the toilet."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Life is like a box of chocolates, some are brown, and some are white.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why is this joke funny because your laughing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops