If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What does society have in common with laundry? They both get ruined when you mix colors with whites.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Making fun of Charlie Sheen is like shooting up in a barrel.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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What do you call a person with an axe stuck to his head? What's your name?

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

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Why wasn't the boy at school? Obviously it was the weekend.

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What do you call a Mad Cow? Dead. Pst, Mr.Cobb if your reading this- Hola.

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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what do eagles and moles have in common? they both live underground except for the eagle!

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don't read this

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

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what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

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If God gives you lemons you find a new God

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Guess what? You guessed it.

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Barney is a dinosaur We see on medication! And when we are high on drugs He's a hallucination!

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Knock Knock! "Use the friggin' doorbell!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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