What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I need a side cart on my motorcycle just for my diick

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the bunny hit the drum? It didn't because it did not have the mental capacity or physical capabilities to do so

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops