Q. What is the best way to suicide? A. Kill yourself.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis.

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If Alex Maitland reads this he is gay

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A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

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what happens when Pinocchio says "My nose is growing"?

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Ele PHa n T

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He saw his gas bill.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Take a chainsaw and cut the swing in half

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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Why didn't the dog come to his master when it was called? It didn't have any legs.

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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What do you call a white duck? A quacker

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven beat and raped Six when he was child multiple times, and Seven threatened to kill Six if he told anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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