Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Muslim walks into a bar. No-one survived the blast.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A blond was walking alone down a street one night. Then she was suddenly mugged and raped. She reported her attacker but he was never caught.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are black violets are black i am blind

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops