Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What's a good joke? France going to war and winning.

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That's not mine! it's bigger and blacker! ...where have i heard this before?

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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An atheist and a priest agree to a public debate. The priest doesn't make much of an attempt to argue because there is a young boy in his podium giving him a handjob.

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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If you are riding uphill in a canoe and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to fit in the dog house? None. Ice cream has no bones.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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What do you call a Mexican flying a plane? A pilot

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What's worse than eating half a worm? Eating somebody's brain.

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How many children does it take to kill a homocidal killer? None. Children should not attempt such a dangerous task.

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Why was Luke named Luke Skywalker? Because he walks to skies.

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How do you make a baby be quiet when it is crying? slowly choke it to death

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops