A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

knock knock who's there? The police your family is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Johnny: I saw you long time ago. You were quite the school clown back in the day. Boy I remember back when I was just a whipper snapper we used play around and goof around all day. Whatdya think? Richard: Shut up, motherfuckingbitch

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

add me on facebook guys , im sexy , i get mad girls and guys, im bisexual , and im a blood (the gang) http://www.facebook.com/brock.beatty.1?ref=ts

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

thumb_up thumb_down -31

i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's better than getting second place in the paralympics? Having legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between a brick and a baby? One is a fundamental item used in building walls and the other is a human

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? The chain broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops