Who's Micheal Jackson?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

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Why did the bird plummet to the earth? It was shot.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is dead. Dead people can't drive.

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What's more fun than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? Go-carts

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What's black and hangs from trees? Tire swings

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A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

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Roes are red, Violets are blue, This poem doesn't rhyme, You're entire family has died. The plane that they were on went down due to a flock of geese getting sucked into the engine. They were visiting you for your twenty fifth birthday and wanted to surprise you. there were no survivors.

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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A man walked up to a fork in the road. He bent down, picked it up, and continued on his journey.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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Just because you do not see the joke, it does`t mean its not here... Ps: It helps us get hookers and beers while wasting your "valuable time" OMG PLEASE BE FUCKING UNDERSTANDING OHMYLAWD!!!!!!!!! Ps: Cry harder you greedy sons of shedogs

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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What did the radiator say to the carpet? Nothing, a radiator is an inanimate object, and therefore is unable to speak.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

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Why did the girl not get her mum a christmas present? Because she was adopted to two men when she was born, so it would be hard to give her mum a present...............................................

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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David walks into a bar. Someone shoots him. Now hes dead.

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What did the fork say to the spoon? I have tongs and you don't. Ha.

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The speakers on my computer were broken, so I was going to replace them with John Boehner. Because he is the SPEAKER of the house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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