how did harry styles get in one diretion god

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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Whats fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? Theres twenty of them

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Why did the boy fall off the bike? Because he was a paraplegic.

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What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

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What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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Q: What did blue say to red? A: Let's make some purple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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