What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +20

anti-joke.ru - russian style

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Where did the girl go when a bomb was dropped on her? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i'll leave 'em dead in the living room. get it leave 'em dead in the living room

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did Stephen Hawking say to a prostitute? Push me, and then just touch me, Till I can get my, Satisfaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

5 black men walk into a 7-11 at midnight. They clog the all of the toilets in the mens bathroom causing them to over run.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the street? K

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Hey man. what? squidbillies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

thumb_up thumb_down +18

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops