why did the chicken cross the road? because it felt like it!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

69

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call someone like Sarah Palin? A tragic victim of America's flawed educational system. But hey! She learned one thing though! Russia is right in her own backyard! Oh wait that would be wrong unless her backyard stretched all the way across Alaska and the Bering Sea. So she didn't learn anything at all. OK she's just dumb

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the boy run down the road? Because he was being chased by a tsunami

thumb_up thumb_down -28

THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the racist say to the other racist? Hey how was yesterday's clan meeting?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

thumb_up thumb_down -28

whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Whats sad about a black man killing himself? That shaft DVD that he rented will probably be late now.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Skinny people fart less.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the giraffe say to the other giraffe. Nothing, giraffes are animals and thus cannot speak

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How do you kill a shark blindfolded? You untie the blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops