Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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What's worse than losing your job? 9/11

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what is the biggest lie I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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Everybody will die

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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There are two cows in a field. One cow says to the other - 'Are you afraid of the mad cow disease?' The other cow says - 'No, cuz I'm a duck.'

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. But if you answered poop you aren't wrong.

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Why did the boy play Xbox? Because its a quality source of entertainment

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So I says to the guy "take the money and run." He then takes my money and walks down the street.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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What's going to happen you? Your going to die just like everyone else in the world. Don't laugh, it's not funny

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What falls down but never gets hurt? A professional stuntman wearing protective gear.

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If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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how many babies does it take o paint a house depends on how hard you throw them

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why didnt the boy eat his ice cream? Because he is dairy intolerant

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what is similar between a turtle losing its shell, and a man selling his chlothes and house? they are now both naked and homeless

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We just got a letter We just got a letter We just got a letter I wonder who it's from Oh look, it's a letter from our friends If there is a place you got to go I am the one you need to know I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! If there is a place you got to get I can get you there I bet I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map! I'm the Map!

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Man comes home and sees another dying man lying in the center of his house. He yells at the man, "HEY I DONT KNOW YOU" The man on the floor replies, "That's funny, my family used to say the same thing"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops