Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A ninja is walking down the street then he...finds a puppy a names him rex

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a movie theater.and attempts to parate a film. He is then caught by employees of the theater and now faces fines and possible jail time for his actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

thumb_up thumb_down +10

all the kids had fun

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: what's white on the top and black on the bottom? A: Society

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the pig squealing? Because all four of its legs were tied together and it was about to have it's head chopped off so the meat could be processed for people to enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how much blondes does it take to fix a light bulb 1 to buy the bulb 2 to put it up and 25 to think about what it does

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

:D STORY TIME! :D ... :D So once upon a time there was a... :) Uhm... :\ I forgot... Sorry :(

thumb_up thumb_down +10

One more note for my children: ...My words appeal to your dark, evil side, it is that which might trigger your fear and disgust... But dont blame your fear on me you moron... ....To those that react with fear and disgust towards my comments: You know the fear and disgust in you, your own emotions make you feel fear and disgust for yourselves, because like all and everything that feels the inspiring words of the Black Angel... ...You know you like it ;) The friendly Black Angel/R*pist: God can free you from the temptation I inspired in your heart, but why would you? Now, thumb this comment down, so you can feel "good about yourself" and suffer in life in order to become a slave and serve the one that made you suffer troughout life... You think me, yet you fail to see that if it where me, I would have be Jehovah your GOD!... ...Worry not though, all of those that plan to stick alive for 10-15 years and I allow to live, will get to serve The Only God, your EMPEROR: Moral Man... Know my name and fear it, and yes mortal, you will also be screaming it...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops