- Anti Joke

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

Lady, calm down, you are missing out on the details here. We knew he was selling information as "The Wiz", from there on it was no problem tracking him down, but having us track him down at the core of Point Zero, would have dragged you all down with him, he was into sharing not only precious Intel, but also some sick shit, nobody is going to mourn him, and neither should you. We sent him a tip so he would get to some location where he would still be able to bypass the lockdown (easy to assume a little geek knows how to manage this), but a small anonymous tip would never have been enough to make him run for it, the next part was to make sure the info on his anonymous message, begin to come true. Sorry about the rest, I needed to know what position he had among "the Order", and he was shot down by a sniper, he knew too much, his involvement, and abilities as both a liar and a traitor, could easily have made it so he would have lied the blame on you, so he could have gone free. And believe me, this happens a lot, and is probably what happened to the old underground as well, think about it, you begin selling some dirty info videos, pictures of things nobody should see in the name of some "organization" (I have no idea what you call your thing, and it is best you never tell me). Then what is left? You claim the entire organization you work for, are the ones responsible for your dirty work, you tell your captors, and you go home rewarded with freedom taking the whole organization down with you, when in this case, the one that would have gone free, would have been the only one to blame. I know what the rest of you are doing, I mean I was part of its foundation years ago, and there is nothing illegal about it, yet people such as the feds would as they did, have brought the whole place down again, and as they had nothing to accuse us for back then other than "we do not like this", they never shared this to the mainstream media. Cant have that happening again, no matter the cost, and if you ask me, some small geek pedophile selling bullshit, should not blame you all, but die, that is justice. It was not "nice knowing me", we will meet again, I mean it, even if I have to get your cell number on "gray terms", you might not like it, but I will call you, on friendly terms of course. The setup is finished, got to go, cant sit here typing on my laptop anymore, gotta get back to the office.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks what he'd like. The man says something funny, but you kinda had to be there.

A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

Hey, wanna here a dirty joke? A pig fell in mud.

An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

What happened to the Jew who went to France? He had a very enjoyable time and visited many of the remarkable landmarks around the country.

a black man walked into a black bar. what color was the bar afterwards? the same color. its a drinking spot not a pole

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

how many couples does it take to screw in a light bulb. 1 the wife to go buy the light bulb and the husbend to put it in.

So, a monkey walks ino a bar... I can't remember the rest of the joke, but your mother is a whore.

Why did the woman have an abortion? Because she was raped at the age of 17.

What's worse than sitting through a boring class? Sitting on a bus that a terrorist is about to blow up.

Basically

What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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