Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I got pneumonia so now I am too

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Your mother is so fat, she really could stand to lose a few pounds.

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

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A bar walked into a bar. To get to the other horse.

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

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Knock knock. Why do you say the words "knock knock" without actually knocking on the door?

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my son is gay, f**k my life...

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? Just in case he gets a hole in one! -LEts Go Mets P.S the comment below is also very stupid

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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What did the gay man see when he looked out the window? A UPS truck that was shipping a monkey

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Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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