Girls Lacrosse.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue These are your Results You have Cancer

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What do you get with you crossbreed a lamp with a chicken? Nothing... You can't crossbreed an inanimate object with a living being.

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Q. Why was little Timmy crying? A. Because his sister died of cancer.

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How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? Ask politely.

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Sorry, I'm a poof.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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What happened to the guy that got a perfect score on his S.A.T.'s? He was murdered.

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wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

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Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? To visit the graves of his wife and only daughter who were killed in a car accident at the fault of a drunk driver many years prior.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Say this to someone: On a scale from one to ten, what is your favorite color?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops