What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning. This is also known as sunburn.

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What do you call Batman and Robin after they have been run over by a car? Dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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Why did they bury the firefighter behind the hill? Because he was dead.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Who lives in a pineaplle under the sea? Nobody but bacteria that will slowly eat your stomach.

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i just wrote this so hard

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What did the angry asian man do after he crashed his car? He died of serious head trauma and internal bleeding.

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2 squirrels with 2 massive boners and 1 little boner.

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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Whats cold and frozen? ice

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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What is the difference between a Nigga and a bucket of shit? ....The bucket.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops