Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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What do fat people and shinease people have in common? They both have a lot of chins.

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What did Batman say when he saw Robin? Hey look it's Robin

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What do you call a black man called Jermaine? Jermaine!

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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How do you tell if a black man is ok? Poke it with a very long pole and keep your distance...

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

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Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Wait what? What if you use the what what? Sorry I am still like super hypnotic trippy, dont worry though, I dont want it to end.

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A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why didn't Megan do her homework? Although Megan was an intelligent girl who had always done well academically, she remained unconvinced that anything taught in school held practical or philosophical importance.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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