Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

How did Mary fall off the swing? She got hit by a fridge.

If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

how to turn invisable. eat yourself

Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

roses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

"Have you heard the one about the trannie?" "No, what is it?" "Wow, that's offensive." -Juanita

What's long, black, and the tip is shaped like a mushroom? A mushroom.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

what did batman say to robyn before he got in the car?... "get in the car"

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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