What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A blonde boards a plane and sits in first class. Another passenger sees the blonde in his seat and tells her she's in the wrong seat. "I'm not moving!" says the blonde. The passenger calls over the flight attendant. "Ma'am, you're supposed to be seated in economy class," says the flight attendant. "Please come with me." "No! I'm not moving!" The flight attendant informs the pilot. The pilot comes out, whispers in the blonde's ear, and then the two have wild sex, right in the open. Oh my God, you should have been there. She had the most incredible rack ever!!!

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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knock knock There's no door

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." The man of the house subsequently notifies his government that genetic engineering is going awry.

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A Chinese man, an Italian man and a French man are sitting in a plane. They arrive in Los Angeles with a 23 minute delay due to atmospheric conditions

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Jimmy: Knock, knock, Grandmother: Who's there? Jimmy: Jimmy Grandmother: Jimmy who? And then Jimmy held back tears as he knew grandmother's Alzheimer's disease was getting worse.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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A man walks into a bar.. and has a bomb strapped to his chest

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What do you a call a black man in a two piece suit? A respectable citizen, racial profiling is ignorant.

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Q: What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A: A pool table.

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Roses are blue Colton is gay

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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I got shot in the balls now i'm pregnant?

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What's black and white, and red all over? Old movies that have ketchup on them.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Adam Claypool is a fag. and his mother sweats my cum. Now that we got that out of the way lets get to the jokes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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