Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the boy get nothing from Santa on Christmas? His parents died the night before!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your bipolar aunt so don't ask again.

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knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

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Mommy, Mommy, I don't like Daddy! Well leave him on the side of the plate and eat your peas instead!

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Why was the 7 year old girl crying? Because its hard to laugh during gang rape.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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someone called someone else a frog

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other boy fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third boy fall out of the tree? Prepressure

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma smells so bad that she purchased arm and hammer products to improve upon her natural scent.

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Why do cows say moo? Because it's a cow

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops