- Anti Joke

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

Why do black people have white hands and feet? Regardless of race or ethnicity, the skin on the palms and soles of the feet is always less pigmented than elsewhere on the body. In darker skinned people this fact is readily observable, but in light skinned people this feature of human biology cannot normally be discerned by simple visual inspection.

Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church. The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged and the final couple was newlywed. Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister. The retired couple said it was no problem at all. The middle-aged couple said it was tough for the first week, but after that, it was no problem. The newlyweds said it was fine until she dropped the can of paint. "Can of PAINT!" exclaimed the minister. "Yeah," said the newlywed man. "She dropped the can and when she bent over to pick it up I had to have her right there and then. Lust took over." The minister just shook his head and said that they were not welcome in the church. "That's okay," said the man. "We're not welcome in Home Depot either."

Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

What did the black guy say when he failed his math test? Crap, I failed my math test!

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

What store adopted the dog ? The Pound

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

Trump will make America great again.

Why did the 3 legged dog fall over? Because it was knocked over by a passing pedestrian.

I love bacon therefor I love people who eat bacon execpt people who eat my bacon then I hate people who eat bacon

what do you call an evening with richard? a waste of time

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm an expert on flowers.

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" dies

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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