Feel free to call me, forget the money, as for my fucking eye, I just sure as hell hope those responsible are rotting in prison. I mean I just lost an eye right? Just kidding, I am the one who has been dead wrong here, I judged you wrong, I am the fuck that seems to feel responsible for the actions of others at times, then again I thought that you where sending them against me, they surely claimed they where, but fuck, people use all sorts of things and people as an excuse to do whatever the hell they want.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Roses are bald Violets are bald You are bald I think you have cancer.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Colin is gay but toasters are not

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Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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So this guy was making a sandwich...

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what did the man say to his horse? sex. -teagan doherty

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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That made no sense... Did you just call me sugartits Nero? Dont you have a wife?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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there are three women witch one is married? the one with the ring on its finger

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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osama bin laden is dead

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Who do you call when there is a ghost in your house? You should problably call the doctor, you may be hallucinating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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