A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom is so old, she was able to have children around the time you were born.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are all teachers stupid? They´re not. Why would you say that?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do u do if a blonde throws a bomb at u Trigger the bomb and throw it back

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Roses are red Bacon is also red Poems are hard Bacon

thumb_up thumb_down -12

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you hit a clown off a swing? There are many was of acting upon this situation but the most successful approach would be hitting the clown with a heavy object,

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many blondes did it take to screw in the lightbulb? Just one. She did a fine job.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bar walks into a man and the man walks into a watermelon then the watermelon walks into a black guy then the black guy walks into a piece of fried chicken then the piece of fried chicken walks into a hotdog then the hotdog walks into a wall then the wall walks into a horse then the horse walks into a jar of mayonaise then the jar of mayonaise walks into a can then the can walks into the bar

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops