Did I tell you about when I hit a cat with my car? No, what happened? I hit a cat.

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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A black man has a job.

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Whats worse than getting a parking ticket? The Bubonic Plague

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Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Ditto, the Slut Pokemon. Ditto is a bisexual f@ggot who will f*ck any Pokemon that moves.

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What do you call a Mexican that doesn't have a lawn mower? An honest working induvidual that just so happens to live in the city and does not own a lawn mower

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feminism

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Delivery for a Mr. Peerson? Oh yes, that's me. Thank you.

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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a. why? b. because

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what do you call an elevator full of white people. a box of crackers

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was Hellen Keller.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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How did the rabbi die? It didnt it lived through the shooting

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops