What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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whats worse than finding a worm in apple? being chased by retards

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Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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It's yellow and you'll die when it comes into your eye. A taxi.

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Where does Hemech take a shit? The toilet's ass

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Don't you hate it when you have 5 dead bodies, and you don't know which one to shoot your load on? -no

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a horse walks into a bar, hours later it walks out on two legs and the man who saw it all happen couldn't believe his eyes. The man then turns to the bartender and says, "I theenk eye've had enuf, Cut me hoff!"

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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wenis

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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