When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

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There once was the worlds most important people on an airplane. All of them. They were a Boy Scout with a hiking pack, World's Oldest person, World's Smartest person, a Scientist who had the cure to cancer, and the World's Richest man. The Pilot told them that the plane was running out of gas and they would have to bail. But there was a problem, two people were going to have to die. They were only two parachutes short. So the Scientist grabbed one and said, "I'm the only one with the cure to cancer I've got lives to save." And he bails. Then the World's oldest person jumps out with a parachute saying, "I Still Have A Life To Live!!!" Then the Richest person realizes there is two parachutes left. He says, "I have the most money so I have to go because I could save America from going bankrupt." Grabs a chute and jumps. Then, the world's smartest person just happens to be so selfish and bails with the last Parachute. So the Pilot and and the Boy Scout were left. The pilot was kind enough to let the Kid go because he still had he longest life to live. But the kid said no, we could both go. The pilot said no you go. The kid was still being stubborn. And said No, we could both go, The world's smartest person took my back pack, there is one chute left, we could share it. And so they both jumped and landed safely on the ground. And that was the end of the World's smartest man.

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Q. Why did the little girl drop her ice cream? A. She dropped it as she got into the van

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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Don't make my new Nazi friend upset, or he'll be Fuhrerious

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How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

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Q Whats Yellow, Has a body, And has a Spiky head ? A a pineapple

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A Jew, an Irishman and a Russian walk into the bar and the bartender says, "Get the Hell out."

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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An obese man walked into McDonalds and ordered 6 Big Macs. He proceeded to walk to a booth in the back corner and eat them all. Turns out he was white.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Knock knock Who's there? Isabelle Isabelle who? Isabelle Williams Oh hi Isabelle come in

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Your mother is so fat because she inherited poor genes and dietary habits from her own parents.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue You wouldn't know that Cause you're a dog.

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What do you call a kid that hasnt passes 7th grade? A 6th grader

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do call a man with no arms or no legs that sits on the couch? Grandpa after his amputations.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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A horse walk into a bar. Several people leave, as they recognize the potential danger in the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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