Why did sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by an 18 wheeler Knock knock Whos there not sally

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why was one black guy surrounded by ten white guys...... he was a story teller.

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Why did Sally dance and record it on Vine? She did it for the Vine

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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What happens when you drive down the road? you get to the end of the road

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Richard Nixon walks into a bar. Everyone is thrilled to meet a former President of the United States who returned from the grave.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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I wanted to impress this girl by showing her that I was good in math. So I went up to her, and told that I knew that the value of pi is 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286 208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481 117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233 786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006 606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146 951941511609433057270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548074462379962749 567351885752724891227938183011949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737190 702179860943702770539217176293176752384674818467669405132000568127145263560827 785771342757789609173637178721468440901224953430146549585371050792279689258923 542019956112129021960864034418159813629774771309960518707211349999998372978049 951059731732816096318595024459455346908302642522308253344685035261931188171010 003137838752886587533208381420617177669147303598253490428755468731159562863882 353787593751957781857780532171226806613001927876611195909216420198938095257201 065485863278865936153381827968230301952035301852968995773622599413891249721775 283479131515574857242454150695950829533116861727855889075098381754637464939319 255060400927701671139009848824012858361603563707660104710181942955596198946767 837449448255379774726847104047534646208046684259069491293313677028989152104752 162056966024058038150193511253382430035587640247496473263914199272604269922796 782354781636009341721641219924586315030286182974555706749838505494588586926995 690927210797509302955321165344987202755960236480665499119881834797753566369807. She had a psychotic episode.

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I have a great knock knock joke. You start. Go.

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

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Q: why did the prisoner drop his soap? A: easy sex

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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