Roses are red Violets are blue I have amnesia HOW THE HELL DID I GET HERE?!?

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw 'em.

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wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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Why were Billy's parents laughing at him? Because he was just diagnosed with cancer!

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A man bought a white van, He later brutally molested a small boy.

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What do you get when you mix a turtle and a dog An animal

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Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put them in your mouth and catch them on fire.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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