Charlie Sheen is winning

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Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

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A American seeking into mexico

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Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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What did they gay chicken say to the straight chicken? .... nothing, chickens dont speek.

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I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

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There's my tractor.

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Q.Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A.One is a human and the other is an inanimate object used to give people a rest.

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knock know. who there?.............. whose there?.........whose there!?!?! damn kids

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

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What's worse then running out of toilet paper? Getting shot

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why did the chicken cross the street? so it could throw a fridge at you, you are very loud at night for some reason and you wake everyone up. the chicken then goes home to watch gay porn videos.

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mikey is cute

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God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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Why are women always wrong? Well, depending on the factors of IQ of said women, location and date, said time period of always can be deemed in every circumstance as incorrect to say the least, and derogatory. These days said derogatory actions are punishable by law.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person if the Jewish religion and a pizza is a type of food.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Is it better to be born black or gay? No way to know. That is, unless you are black and gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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