what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

What's as hard as a rock? A rock

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

What did the priest do to the young catholic boy? Bless him.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

A: Knock, Knock B: Whos there? A: Noone, the door and the visitor are both existential figments of your imagination.

Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

I touch my sons dick XoXo Wendy.

Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

What do you callan african american in KFC? A had working american with a average profit, trying to make a living.

what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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