while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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Have you heard about the Polish princess? There isn't one. The Polish monarchy was abolished in 1918.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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An alligator crawled into a bar Animal control is promptly called and he is released in a nearby lake

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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Q: Holy do you get a nun pregnant? A: You have sexual intercourse with her, and have an orgasm inside her body. Also, in vitro fertilization is a viable, albeit expensive, alternative for couples who have difficulty conceiving by standard intercourse.

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Why did the woman call 911? Fire.

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A: Roses are red, Violets are blue. B: Then why are they called violets? A: I NEVER NOTICED THAT!

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, my name is cartman, kyle you're a jew

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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How many blondes does it take to finish a math test? 1 if she isn't copying.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Q: What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A: A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird.

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What goes up and down, up and down, up and down, forever? An insult to Newtonian physics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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