Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So A guy named Larry walks into a bar and says, Where is your couch?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? Neither one can ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

roses are red violets are blue i'm allergic to pollen achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the woman shout at the bin? Because she is mentally ill

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didnt the chicken cross the road? He was chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mamma so stupid Her IQ is sub par

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did one lawyer say to the other? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where do drunk asians live? In their house or apartment with their families, who are concerned about his drinking.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How old are you? 7

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops