Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Knock knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? The penguin who apparently lives next door and somehow developed the ability to successfully interact with other species through gesture and retoric.

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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What's Red, Smells like Blue Paint, What tastes like the sea, and has been doused in the essence of the 80's? If you can come up with something, don't bother; This is a trick question. The space was to give you time to think. Forget your answer.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? Jimmy was a goldfish.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk

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Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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Knock knock. Get out!!

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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What happened to the Jewish child that used to live life like a normal kid? Him and his family were taken to a ditch and shot to death. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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You know you're dyslexic when life gives you melons.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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