-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Lightning strikes 2 year old baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Tyrone is innocent! I can't wait until Kirsty gets hers!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Feminism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

An Indian lady is pushing her child down a footpath in a stroller whilst leading her dog. A refridgerator lands on the mother. Why did the Chinese man behind her cry? Because loss of life is a frantic event and having witnessed such an event he was deeply shocked. He was also sad that no dogs were killed. This is because a dog killed his wife in a freak accident and he has held a grudge against the species ever since.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses walk into a bar and sit down at a table. They glare at each other for a moment before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops