a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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What is the difference between a horse? All the legs are of same length, especially the back ones.

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Thank you so much Nero, I have read it and I am crying because I am happy, at first I was worried because I have never cried out of happiness before. But its over. Nero, you underestimate yourself a lot, promise me we will work with that together, sometimes you almost convince me you are as inferior as you say, but then you get out of your shell of doubt your past has caused in you (its not you when you doubt yourself its what they put in you), you are always there when people need you, teach me hypnosis someday and let me remove that part of you which does not allow you to believe in yourself. Dont reply Nero, calm down and sleep, I feel you are allright, I just know.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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why was the jewish man so sad because his family was killed in a bus accident and he severed his spine and cant walk ever again and his insurance couldunt pay for the bill so he is now bankrupt so he borrowed from the mafia and now owes them 100,000 in a year or they will cut off his fingers and gauge out his eyes

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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Q. What is worse than being raped A. Being raped twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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