what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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Why did the sperm swim back? cos he realised that he was in someones anus!

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Cleavlin has a shmaaala dik

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The average American sees a half-finished glass of water that is not flavored and is therefore is not worth any reasonable person's time.

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What did the snoop dog have for breakfast? Weed

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What happens when you agree to disagree? You extend the duration of the argument.

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Poop...

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A thief stole a calendar. Later, feeling guilty, he returned it to its owner, admitted his misconduct, and went to a local minimart to purchase his own.

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why did the baby cross the road? he was stapled to the chicken

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops