What did God tell Moses to deliver to the Hebrews? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

A man walks into an oven. He suffers severe burns and dies on a hospital bed

Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously more than six because my bass meant is still dark.

Why did the vagina smell so bad? Because it had yeast infection.

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

Old, Asian, Woman who drive

A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

What's worse than breastfeeding a wolverine? Force-breastfeeding a wolverine.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

The funniest thing happened in my dream last night, i dreamed that banks would stop ripping people off and start treating people like humans. How wierd is that :D

if life hands u melons, make melonade.

you gay?

justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

what did Charlie Sheen say after he won a game of chess? I just won a game of chess!

what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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