Q. A man walks into a library and asks the librarian for a book on suicide? A. The librarian hands the man a book on suicide

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Three Men walk into a bar. One with a ax and one with a Shovel. The other one isn't holding anything. *Boom* (\ _ /) (x . x)

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Welcome to the anti-joke Olympics! As you can see ladies and gentlemen, our contestants are starting to look very excited as the "who can look the most bored" competition is just about to begin! We are terribly sorry to announce that as for the butterfly style contest, all of the butterflies drowned :( While at this corner, we can see these contestants have been waiting patiently for hours for the "who is the most impatient" contest to begin! While over here, none of our contestants have yet to make a chicken cross the road and tell them why! In the meantime watch as we mistreat these Jews in order to find out what is worse, the holocaust or a worm in your apple! So far our contestants with worms in their apples are complaining more, but dying significantly less, how will this end! How exciting! Finally our swing contest has been cancelled as Sally refuses to get on it! Moral: BUT WILL IT BLEND!

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What starts with an N, ends with R, and you arent supposed to say? Never

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What happened after the lawer jumped off the bridge? His family mourned his loss for years.

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If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? she was stabbed by a drugaddict

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

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What did Kane Larkin get on his birthday? Cancer...

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Roses are red I got a new phone But no one to text Forever alone

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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An American, a German, and a Mexican walk quickly into a room. They were late for a work meeting.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Why did the police officer decide to eat a donut? Because he was slightly hungry, but a meal seemed too much for him.

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Who pushed joe off the building? Nobody. joe hated his life and wanted to die

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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aodhan hearty

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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