Knock knock I don't even have a door just walk in

thumb_up thumb_down -31

There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting eaten alive by midgets with down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do we call Osama? Osama

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What is a Will And Dan put together A WillDan HAHAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's funny about a dying dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How long does it take a person to steal a television? Many variables could determine said ability to successfully steal a television. Such variables depend on sub-variables such as weight of the television, whether the television is a store, an upper-class citizen's home, or in a "ghetto" apartment. A main variable could be the race of the thief in question. African Americans are scientifically more likely to steal a television faster compared to a Caucasian. Yet a downside to being an African American is the fact that they are more likely to be called in for questioning or arrested on the spot at their broken down home. Caucasians are less likely to be questioned and if caught will most likely obtain the proper amount of bribery money in which to pay off the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Q: Why did the dead baby cross the road??? A: It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

"Hey hey hey, did you hear the joke about the guy with terminal cancer?" "No." "Sorry to break it to you then."

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do Whitney Houston and Selena Gomez have in common? They are both dead. Exept for Selena Gomez..

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Knock Knock whos there? a black man ohh ok come in

thumb_up thumb_down -33

What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops