what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

How many tickles can you give an octopus? Ten tickles

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

im gay

Illumati Confirmed

What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

How many chickens did Moses bring to the ark? 2

Q: whats red, spins, and screams? A: a baby in a blender

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

Q: A squirrel a chipmunk and a spider monkey are fighting over these nuts. Who gets them? A: Your Mom ;p

What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

An American, a Mexican, and a Chinese person are in an airplane. The three of them ponder throwing someone out for a racist reason, but decide to fly to the destination.

Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

Why did John suck at sports? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

What is the difference between a baby and a tree? Its not illegal to hit one with an axe

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Because it was white

Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

Why did the Jew pick up the dollar on the side of the road? Because he dropped it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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