What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Who's the best German Chef? Hitler

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Q. What did the girl on drugs get for Easter? A. Down Syndromes Disease.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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A blonde dies Lololol

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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Why did the man cry... He got hit with a fridge

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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You know, people are kind of like trees, they tend to fall over when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops