A drunk guy walks into a car

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Q: What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? A: Getting your face smashed with a hammer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Lemons are yellow

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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How do you make a Bong Ki mad? Call him a Bong Ki.

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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An irishman walks into a bar and drinks 6 pints of guiness. He then drives himself home and savagely beats his wife and children.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, whoever met you is a BIG fool

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? One is blonde and one is brunette.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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A seal walks into a club.

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what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

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Little Birdy: Are you my mother? Man: No, I'm a murderer. Get in the truck.

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Q. What did the Cat say to the Dog? A. "These humans are so jobless.."

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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Why did the boy fail his maths test? He had no eyes due to a vicious bear attack earlier that year so couldn't read the questions or study from books resulting in him not being able to complete the task he was given.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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