Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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A guy walks up to his boy and tells him, "Hey, if you don't stop masturbating you'll go blind." The boy says, "Who are you? Your not my father."

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Thats sweet, thank you then.

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What's the worst part about aids? Telling your wife and kids.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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Why did the chines were sunglasses? It was sunny.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops