Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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Warning: Legit Joke Below What is the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? Only one can raise a child.

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What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

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What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve You, but don't start anything."

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Brother Bro-ther Broad her Soap

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes.

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What did the boy get from his grandmother on Christmas. Nothing she died on Thanksgiving.

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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What would you get when you cross a bear and a shark? a highly improbable situation because sharks and bears live completely different environments.

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Yo mama so fat.

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you're so stupid, you have trouble understanding what you read, like the newspaper, for example

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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