what do you call aca that got pushed in a pool ? A WET PUSSY

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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1

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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To (down) Below: BAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOLOLOL! MWAHAHAHAHA HOHOHOHO HEEEEEEEEEEHEEEEEEEHEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHAHA... Man I cant breathe! YUCK YUCK YUCK! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA! AHAHA! HOHOHOHOHOHO HAHAHAHAHA!

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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Okay.

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Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

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Your mama's so fat, that when she opened the window, wind came in!!!

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Whats the difference between and ? Blue custard

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's red and has wheels? A red car

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Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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