Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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jack and jill went up the hill to have a little fun. that dumb ass jill forgot the pill and now they have a son

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are you from Tennessee, cause i wanna rip out your throat you piece of dirt

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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why is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich the same as a tub of fish? they are both food

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A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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My uncle told me that slow and steady wins the race. He died in a fire.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops