Yesterday I saw a blind man walking down the street, I asked if he needed help and he said "I'm fine thanks." Later on I saw a deaf man walking down the street and asked if he needed help. He didn't hear me, he then fell off the curb and was hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do u say to someone u don't like? I thought I'd let u no tht I don't like u...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

thumb_up thumb_down -16

There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews does it take to bake a turkey using an oven, I don't know but it only takes one Jew to stuff one.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? a jew is a member of a religion called Judaism, they're generally tall and have curly hair, however not in all situations is this true. They celebrate Chanukah and passover and many other holidays. Pizza is an italian dish, it's round, has red sauce and cheese on it and is pretty tasty.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: Whats worst than the Holocaust A: If a second Holocaust happened, and then you found an apple in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why couldn't the little boy sleep? he was being tortured.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

edmond alward. handyman services. call 0858430803.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops