I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple?  Getting raped by a 10 foot scorpion.

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Jack and Jill ran up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and died.

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What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

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Why did the Muslim man get on a plane? Because he was going on vacation

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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What do fruits and computers have in common. Microsoft.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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Before her maiden voyage, they told the Titanic she could become anything. So she became a submarine.

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fun fact for the day: 100% of people that drink water die sooner or later

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What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

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If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

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What is the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One's fun to smash and the other is a watermelon.

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DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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