Dr. I need a new butt, mine has a crack in it.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

How do you kill a mime? Shoot him in the face.

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

Q: What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep? A: A genetic aberration that is an insult to both God and man.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

a drunk man got 3 beers and a 5 whiskys

A: Doctor doctor help me! B: Sorry, I'm not actually a doctor, stop calling me that!

What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

A muslim walks into an airport. He then buys his ticket, boards his plane, and his flown to his proper destination.

4 hours later.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...