What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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A tall German man and a short Ukrainian woman walk into a pub and sit down for a drink. The German, not wanting to seem rude, asks the Ukrainian how her day has been. The Ukrainian smiles confusedly as she doesn't understand German.

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear asks the rabbit does shit stick to your fur? The rabbit says no, so the bear wipes his ass on the rabbit

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The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Why did the man die? A fridge fell on him.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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