How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Why doesn't Santa deliver gifts anymore? Because Santa died of a heart attack.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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I thought we where okay, you seemed so nice and calm before, are you okay? What happened?

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Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

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What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

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Has u seen my grammar?

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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How many blodnes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Approximately 17. with the addition of 6 brunettes.

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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What is green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and onto your head, it will kill you? A pool table.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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You had 10 bricks on an airplane, you throw one. How many do you now have? 9. How do you get the elephant in the fridge? Open the fridge put the elephant in. How do you get the giraffe in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in. There was an animal meeting, all animals were invited. Which animal was missing? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge. An old woman wants to cross a river that was full of crocodiles. How does she cross without getting eaten? The crocodiles were at the animal meeting, so she got across safely. She dies anyways. What happened? She was hit by the brick.

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There were two muffins in an oven. They were forgotten about by the baker so they cried, caught fire, burned to death, and formed a medium-sized pile of ashes.

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Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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