A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What one thing do the five members of Mystery Inc have in common? They were all raped and killed by REAL MONSTERS! One of the monsters happened to be Chuck Norris. He's a BEAST!

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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2 men walk into a bar, the 3rd man ducks and ask them if they're ok

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

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What happens when you divide by 0? Sadly, you don't.

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What's worth than a large pile of dead babies? Nothing, you sick freak.

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Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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What do black people eat? What everyone else does!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Q:What do you do when you see a talking raccoon A:Quit the LSD

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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An under aged girl walks into a bar. She couldn't have done so without a fake ID and early development.

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Yo momma is so fat, that after boarding an airplane the flight crew respectfully asked her to deboard, as with her on board the plane would be exceeding the reccomended weight, and thus be unable to fly safely.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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