Knock, Knock... Whose there? panther panther who? panth-er no panths im goin' swimmin'

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

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Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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How many pancakes does it take to lift up a dog house? Silly goose, alligators can't fly!

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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How did Justin Bieber die? He didn't. And we all need to stop making fun of that poor boy.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

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How do you make a baby cry ? Throw a brick at his face

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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How do you make Barack Obama upset? Stab him.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you were observing it, thus changing its quantum state and making it decide to cross.

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hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops