What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

How many christians does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows, by the time they finish unscrewing the burned out light, a hi-jacked plane crashes into them.

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

Ask me if I want an orange. Do you want an orange? No.

Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

what do you call a black chef glendon

What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

Its behind you like if you looked behind

Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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