A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

a potato walks into a bar. people stare as it is physically impossible for a potato to walk since it is a vegetable

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

So 185 cowboys walk into a bar and the bartender says "I can't serve 185 cowboys!" The cowboys ask why not and the bartender says "Because that would exceed the legal maximum occupancy of this building."

What is the worst thing to say to a dying person? After you die I'm going to defile your corpse, nan.

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

Don't you just hate it when a sentence doesn't end the way you octopus?

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

Q: why did the boy walk into the woods alone? A: nobody knows he hasn't come out yet

Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

whats green and slimy? green slim

Your mother is so fat that she's more prone to cardiovascular disease than other people who stick to the proper BMI or body mass index

What do the angels say when god sneezes? Chuck bless you

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

What happens when you go swimming in the rain? You get wet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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